Everybody could use a sidekick!

Today's post is inspired by my dear buddy Will (my youngest nephew). Will and I have been spending a lot of time together recently, and I have been thoroughly enjoying the chance to look at the world through his eyes.

Will in the Clone Trooper costume he commissioned me to create for Halloween

Will is an original - a strong-minded imaginative child who sees the world in a distinctly different way. His mom (my sister) often rightly refers to him as "Won't".  Depending on the circumstances, you might see him as a fabulously different thinker who turns the ordinary world on its ear, or alternatively, as a child who stubbornly refuses to comply with your (to him arbitrary) demands.

May I just qualify the rest of this post by stating for the record that I love this boy - when he's "good", when he's "bad" - love him. He reminds me a lot of myself as a child. Thinking thoughts that don't match the majority, coming up against the pressure to comply, to be "usual". Interesting to be bright and eccentric, but not always comfortable.

I am Will's "sidekick". I play the roles he writes for me in his imagination dramas. I don't argue about the parameters, I follow his lead. A gift from me to him that I hope he will someday regift to his own undoubtedly strong-willed out-of-the-ordinary future children.

I wear the costumes he chooses for me from the "Tickle Trunk", his costume bits treasure trove, (if you're unfamiliar with the term "Tickle Trunk", please look up Mr. Dressup, a Canadian childhood icon). I embrace the powers he bequeaths to me. I act out the effects of his magical attacks (including the memorable "tornado of doom" which ended with me breaking my sister's cabinet door with my head ... but I digress, that's a story for another time). I happily follow him through the neighbourhood wearing items like a too small purple hockey helmet and fighting invisible foes in the bushes (trusting that the neighbours understand).

Together we adventure through the world of Will's mind - I learn about him and he discovers that I am his true friend. A gift for both of us.

Will as Robber Baron (not pictured: me as "robber sidekick" dressed all in black in a costume chosen by Will)

So what's the connection to autism? Individuals on the autism spectrum are developing outside (often way outside) the "usual". There is a tendency to view this unusual developmental path as somehow deficient, rather than just "different". When I do therapy with young children (no matter the diagnosis), I want to know what the world looks like through their eyes. What do they love? what are they thinking about? what do they dream? what do they want?

There is no better way to find out the answers to these questions than becoming a "sidekick". Put your own worries and demands to the side, even for an hour, and follow children into their world. Pay attention to what catches their attention. Follow their will and their wishes, as much as you can figure them out. Are they fascinated by the patterns of sunlight painted on the carpet? Take a close look, you may find it beautiful too. Do they want to wear a cowboy hat and run up and down the stairs? You can do that with them. You are more likely to hear meaningful communication when children are pursuing their own interests and passions, and you are right beside them sharing the experience.

Also interesting that the more children are convinced that you are truly interested in their world, the more likely they will trust you enough to take your hand and bravely take steps out into your world.


Historically, too much autism "therapy" has been focused on getting children (and teens and adults) to "comply". I don't much care for compliance. I would rather hear what a person is really thinking, even if it's diametrically opposed to what I originally thought would be more convenient. Then we can have a conversation, understand each other and move on from there.

me at one of our Typical Teen group meetings (2008)

Dignity is over-rated and full-on passionately embracing the fun in life is under-rated. Set your conventional views of age and self-respect on the shelf, get down on the floor and follow your kids. You won't regret it.

The gift of free time

"Kids need time to be bored; that is how creativity is born" - Melanie Jean Juneau 

When I was a child, summer was my favourite time of year. I would wake up each morning knowing that the day was mine, that anything could happen, and that as long as I showed up relatively unscathed at mealtimes my mother would ask very few questions about how I was spending my time. My brothers and sisters and I explored, created, imagined, read, and ran free. Summertime felt endless and we were the luckiest of people. If I had to point to one factor in the successful development of my happily eccentric brain, it would be that yearly summer freedom.

School can be hard and confining, especially for an active person with an unusual flavour of mind. I feel very strongly that summer programs for individuals on the autism spectrum should not be anything like the school year. As the old saying goes, "a change is as good as a rest", and summertime is perfect for releasing arbitrary structures and giving those unusual and interesting minds a chance to run free, led by their own curiosity, imagination and interests.

Allow me to share the summer chapter of my young friend Kieran's artistic, communication and intellectual development

(to read the back story, click here - part 1 and here - part 2 )

I'll let Kieran (in pictures) and his mom (in words) tell the story themselves:

E-mail #1: Kieran found the Usborne book "Playtime Activities" in his room. I explained that these were instructions on how to draw different things. I love this lion he drew!

E-mail #2: He' s on a roll- he just drew this in my notebook:

He has been talking to me about building a growing machine for the last few days, which I connected to one of the Little Critter stories (I think it's When I Get Bigger) ... I told him that he couldn't make a growing machine out of wood, but that he could make one out of Lego. I'm guessing he didn't like that idea and decided to draw one instead.

I'm delighted that it made your day!

E-mail #3: Here's a car crusher that he built yesterday after watching Mighty Machines. The car crusher is lego and he wrapped some toy cars to crush.

Your advice to let him have an unstructured summer was perfect.

It is a damaging myth that people on the autism spectrum lack imagination and creativity (food for thought: read this blog post from Jonathan Alderson ). The development of creativity and imagination require less-structured (or unstructured) time and open-ended situations. When we fill up every minute in the day with "educational" activities, when we set up learning environments where there are limited "right" answers, when we allow no time for a person to follow their own interests and ideas, we stifle the growth of what is arguably the most important intellectual ability that humans can possess.

“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”               ~ Albert Einstein 

Give unstructured time a try - you won't regret it and your kids will remember it for a lifetime 

Drawing Together for Communication: how to get things started

Drawing can be a useful tool for developing communication skills in young children, and in older children (and teens and adults) with communication delays.

One of the techniques I commonly use in therapy is "collaborative drawing", where each person contributes to the larger drawing, and the drawing itself acts as a visual record of the conversation or story. Take a look at this video (made with my typically developing nephew Will when he was 4 years old) for a short demonstration of this technique:

click this link if video does not automatically appear in your browser

 

 

Today I want to share with you some interesting developments from one of my young friends on the autism spectrum. Kieran is a bright active young boy (in grade 4) with delays in the development of his verbal language. He is very visual and is a whiz at math and putting together complicated building toys using diagram instructions. For the past two years, his family and I have been drawing things for him, making visual representations of what happens in our toy play and also of situations and interactions from the larger world around him.

During our early sessions, he was happy to have others do the drawing. The drawing was a good anchor for our conversations during play and this helped his focus, his comprehension and his verbal language development. Following our drawing/play sessions he liked to have the big drawings posted on the walls at home so he could look at them, think about them and talk about them with his family.


Then, at the beginning of this calendar year, Kieran started to take a more active role in the drawing process.


He began to frequently tell me what to draw and how to draw it. For example, this "portrait" of him and his cat was drawn in January according to his very detailed instructions:

portrait of Kieran in cowboy hat & tractor pyjamas (drawn by me, directed verbally by him)

He started drawing spontaneously to express himself - here is a picture, also from January, that he drew when his mom was drawing out some challenges from the school day (his suggestion ... how about going to Monster University?):

"I want to go to Monster University"

He has begun to draw collaboratively, adding details and figures to our large drawings (that we do beside our toy play), so now those drawings include his direct visual thoughts as well as his play ideas and what he has verbally directed me to add.

Here's a drawing from February where we explored the difficulty of loud noises and emotional responses to various situations - at the end of our session, he spontaneously added his two cats:



this "big picture" is done on 2 ft x 3 ft paper beside our toy play area
(this day we were playing with trains & plasticine figures)

Kieran's cat Ginger

Keiran's cat Spooky

 

Then at our last session in April, he added multiple details to our picture about Thomas the Tank Engine and friends:

 

Kieran added tracks and faces and smokestacks and many other details

What are the benefits of going after communication in this context?

 

First and foremost, it's fun and relaxed, and it makes formidably difficult skills (communication and social interaction) more approachable and accessible.

 

Second, it stimulates communication development in a very natural context, so the language learned is already generalized to where it's functional and fits.

 

Third, it lets the individual (who is the target of the therapy) set the pace - you can be certain that the information is going in, and they will show you when they have enough information and confidence to give the new skills a try.

 

 

 

 

Because we have never forced the issue, Kieran continues to willingly taking steps forward, trying new things and gaining confidence daily.

 

I leave you with his latest creation, a plasticine cat modeled after the many little plasticine animals I have made for him during our play over the last year - as you can see, it's a great cat with lots of personality and a happy disposition ... just like the young artist who made it.

 

Kieran's clay creation